You Take the Good, You Take the Bad, You Take Them Both and There You Have......

     You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have.....2018.  You thought I was going to say 'the facts of life' didn't you?  Well that works, too.  But this theme song has popped in my head every time I've thought about this last year.  So here we go.
     I know that some people say it's all in the perspective.  And I can agree with that about some things.  But I also know that there is good.  And there is bad.  What matters is what we do with both.
     Recently, I filled out a quiz.  It asked me what I wanted more than anything.  A couple of years ago, my answer would have been completely different.  I was living in horrible anguish back then.  I was lonely and confused when I shouldn't have been.  But you know that if you've read my other blogs.  And my answer to the question on that quiz?  It was that my kids would all have healthy spiritual lives.
     I used to pray specifically for what I wanted God to do in their lives.  And for them to have no suffering or pain.  Boy, was I selfish.  A mom, yes.  But that's not how it works.  And I should have known that.
    We can't 'fix' things for our kids.  Well, maybe sometimes when they were little but certainly not when they are grown. Mine are all adults and are busily teaching me new things all the time.  I can truly say I have grown tremendously this last year and I owe so much of it to my  amazing kids.
     Not all of what I've learned from my kids has been because of something good, though.  As much as I would like to make their paths easy.  As much as I would like to have had all my prayers answered just as I prayed when they were little---basically for perfect lives---that's just not reasonable.  And that's not God.
     The lessons I've learned this past year have been hard ones.  I've cried out to God in gut wrenching anguish so many times.  Taking the dogs out at night and  looking up at the moon, well some how that triggered crying out to Him with a deeply broken heart.  Then something happened.  Like in the Old Testament when a mourner takes off the sack cloth and rises out of the ashes, I'm experiencing something new.
      Peace.  Real peace like I've never experienced in my life.  Sometimes rising from the roses and hibiscuses.  Sometimes rising from the ashes.  But always rising.  I know it's God. I've tested it.  And it's real.
     I haven’t been a perfect mom. But I have to trust that I’ve done my best in teaching my kids Who their help comes from. Who their Savior is. And that He never leaves them.
     All this?  It's causing me to become the me I thought I was.  To know that we can't make life choices for others.  But we can show them love.  And when we show them love, just maybe they will see Jesus in us.  And make the right choices for themselves. Isn't that what it's truly all about?