The Day After

     Happy Half Priced Chocolate Day!  I must say that this has been the most fun Valentine's Day week I have had in a very long time.  And today I topped it off by indulging in half priced Valentine sweets and chocolates for dinner.  Plus more chocolate for dessert.  I don't have a choice but to eat it all today.  It's my one 'cheat' meal.  No.  Seriously.
     After 28 Valentine's Days of never knowing, this one was a relief.  Of course some were good but most were lonely with me wondering and being told it's just another day and I was expected to accept it.  Yes, I've gotten flowers and sweet cards at times.  And even a teddy bear and jewelry.  But, more often than not, I've gotten nothing.  Not even the words "Happy Valentine's Day".  The kids often tried to make up for it though.  I sure am blessed in the kids department.  They are amazing!
     Three years ago I decided to take matters into my own hands and plan a 'romantic' Valentine's Day weekend.  I reserved a Honeymoon Suite and went to the hotel early so that I could decorate.  But did I really do it as a surprise?  No.  I did it so I would know where he was.  I had spent too many holidays wondering.  So, I made the secret plans and we never left the hotel from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon.  The best part about that weekend was that I didn't have to wonder where he was.
     Not one time did I have to look at my phone to see if he had responded to my many texts.  Never did I have to look out through the blinds to see if he was home.  And it didn't matter if the garage door went up, because I didn't have to listen for it and hope it was him.  I was not comfortable that entire weekend.  But I knew where he was.  And, at that time, that was what mattered most.
    But that didn't last long.  He disappeared the next weekend.  We had a family event he had said he would attend.  It was important.  But he didn't show up and wouldn't say where he was.  There we were.  Disappointed.  Again.
     But this year.  This year was different!  You see, I know there are weapons formed against me.  But I also know that those weapons won't prosper!  Losing an occasional battle may happen.  But God is with me and He always wins the war!
     So, as I sit here finishing off my gigantic chocolate kiss, I am happy to say that I had such a sweet Valentine's Day.  I didn't have to wonder once where he was.  I didn't have to wonder if he would send me flowers and I never once got jealous of others getting flowers and balloons.  In fact I was happy for them!  It was so fun to see delivery vans pull up just outside my office window.  I was excited for each delivery!  Giddy even.  Love was in the air.  Real love.  Not what I had experienced.
     And I got to do something else.  I have very special customers I consider friends.  Two of them recently lost their husbands and another has been very sick.  I got to take time and talk to each of them yesterday.  I was so blessed to be a part of their day.  Widows spending Valentine's Day alone when their husbands had just passed away. Husbands they loved with their whole hearts and they knew they were loved just the same.  Now they are alone.  And I got to be a part of their day.
     Do they know about my circumstance?  Yeah.  And one of them went on and on about it because he was supposed to tell me about her husband falling back in December.  I hadn't told her about my circumstance back then.  In fact I didn't tell her until she called last week and told me her husband had passed away.  She went for almost two months thinking I didn't care because he didn't tell me her husband had fallen like he said he would do.  Instead, he had just lied to her when he told her he would tell me.  He didn't tell her that his last contact with me was when he accidentally texted me instead of yet another woman.  And even that he tried to turn it around on me and blame me.  Yeah.  Like that makes sense.
     I would have gone to visit her husband in the rehab if I had known.  I would have talked to him about Jesus.  And it hurts that I didn't get the chance.  But, you know what?  It doesn't do any good to think about that.  But my friend and I.......we are getting closer through it all.  And I'm thankful.
     The day after Valentine's Day I am happy.  I was even told today that I was contagious as a co-worker and I laughed on the phone.  Another told me she could hear the happiness in my voice.  The day after.....and I'm oh so happy.