So this week I got some good news. I had an appointment with my therapist who told me that, what I thought was me becoming callus and uncaring, was really a part of my healing. Seriously, I thought I might be getting really messed up because I wasn't curling up in a painful ball inside every time I heard of someone experiencing a catastrophe.
Like those kids whose parents had been torturing them for years. Don't get me wrong. My heart hurt for them. But it wasn't like it used to be. Was my heart getting hard? Was I turning into the bad guy? I was really concerned when I asked her. The answer I got was amazing and made so much sense.
For years I haven't been able to control what happened to my kids and me. It didn't matter what I did or said, we were hurt. I couldn't seem to do anything to stop it. Anytime I heard about the abuse of other women and children, I actually mourned for them. I hurt so badly for them. But now I know they aren't my responsibility. While I can pray for them and feel badly for them, I no longer mourn for them. And it's actually a good thing! Because I'm finally getting to do what's right for my kids and me.
Another thing we talked about this week was me blogging about the truth. And it's a good thing too! I'm getting it out so that it doesn't constantly churn in my head all the time. Once I write it here, I don't have to think about it. So, I've got some pictures to share today. This is what has been bugging me this week and it's time to get it out. Not necessarily to hurt someone else, but so that I can heal. Because, like I found out last week, I is kind, I is smart, I is important.
Here it goes.........
So. As you can see by this first picture, this was sent to me in June 2016. It was a nice Sunday afternoon and I was minding my own business when I got this quick series of pictures of a messenger conversation. I didn't recognize the number it came from but I'm sure it was one of those texting apps and I quickly blocked it. So I don't know if this was the entire conversation or everything the sender meant for me to see. But this was what I got.
First of all, a messenger introduction. It happened on June 4, 2016 beginning at 1:13PM. They have a mutual friend, yada, yada, yada.
Then it's followed by a question. A question as to whether the receiver is still seeing 'him' because the sender didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was 'taken'.
Now wait just a minute here. 14 months prior to this I had come home for lunch a found a note attached to a business card in my mailbox. The business card was complete with this sender's work info and cell number. The note attached addressed me as Mrs. Parks and instructed me to call her about him. I did not. I called her supervisor who asked me to email a picture of it and I did. The supervisor called me later to assure me she had spoken to this woman and nothing like this would happen again. So, the sender of this message KNEW he was in a relationship call MARRIAGE. Why on earth would she message another 'other woman' to find out if they were still together and if he was taken when she knew he was taken by MARRIAGE?
Also in this picture, she mentioned that her brother-in-law introduced them. Isn't that interesting considering her sister had been following me on instagram for quite some time and I couldn't figure out who she was or why she would be following me? I kept getting the creeps about it so, after a while, I blocked her. I only found out recently that it was her sister. And, that I've been taking walks by her sister's house for years and didn't even know that I was talking to her sister's dogs who would bark at me as I walked by. (Won't do that again!)
The next picture is of my Twitter profile from that day. I know there are parts missing from the conversation, but it came to me jumbled and, again, I blocked it immediately. So I don't know exactly how it went together. Anyway, she's pretending that she's just finding out that he's married. And the receiver of the messages obviously keeps an eye on me because she easily found my twitter and posted this.
Now the questions continue. 'Is he divorcing his wife' to which the response is 'he's been divorcing her for the past 7 years'. Boy. Neither one had a clue on that one. I had filed in 2010 on grounds of adultery because of the relationship with the receiver in this conversation. But he told me that was over and he told me we were back together at the end of 2011 and he told me to drop it. So no. He had not been divorcing me for 7 years. He had filed just over 3 months prior to this conversation and had told me it was because his mother was dead and he no longer needed me to take care of her.
For some reason the receiver of the messages chose, at that time, to post a picture of her driver's license and a check book. Who knows.
Next picture. My blog. Nice to know they keep up with me so well. Not. And the receiver asks the sender just what he told her. The sender replied 'Not a lot really. I just met him.'
Ok. Hold up. And back up to April 2015 when the note and business card were left in my mailbox. Not only did she know him then, but he confessed, while seated at my desk at work, that he knew the name when I said it to him. So that's not true. And her sister had been following me on instagram prior to that too. So........
This last one is about the duplex. The sender confesses that she has been there. The receiver says he had to get the duplex so he could get the divorce and that it wasn't far from my house. Then the sender (who claimed to not know he was married) says she knows this. And that he gave her a key.
I asked him about this key thing and I was told it wasn't true. Hmm..... And I was at this duplex about a month later and saw a lot of stuff in boxes. Like someone was moving in. He claimed he must have gotten them by accident and they weren't his. But he wouldn't say who they belonged to. And I know I'm not the only woman who was at that duplex after these messages were sent. So it had to be a bit scary or dangerous with her having that key and being able to walk in at any moment. Maybe he liked the thought. But now that I know the truth it makes me sick.
Now. Getting back to the pictures. What is wrong with this picture? Or these pictures? I have to say that it is really freeing to get this out. Truth is freeing for those who live in it. But for those who lie, deceive, manipulate and intentionally hurt others just so they can get what they want, well, they aren't friends with truth. Until they can come face to face with truth, shake hands with truth, embrace truth, they will never be free. And, while that is sad, it's not my place to free them. It never was even though I tried. I can pray for them. I can hope they get the help they need. But I'm not their savior. There is only One Savior. And I do pray they find Him. Soon.
Like those kids whose parents had been torturing them for years. Don't get me wrong. My heart hurt for them. But it wasn't like it used to be. Was my heart getting hard? Was I turning into the bad guy? I was really concerned when I asked her. The answer I got was amazing and made so much sense.
For years I haven't been able to control what happened to my kids and me. It didn't matter what I did or said, we were hurt. I couldn't seem to do anything to stop it. Anytime I heard about the abuse of other women and children, I actually mourned for them. I hurt so badly for them. But now I know they aren't my responsibility. While I can pray for them and feel badly for them, I no longer mourn for them. And it's actually a good thing! Because I'm finally getting to do what's right for my kids and me.
Another thing we talked about this week was me blogging about the truth. And it's a good thing too! I'm getting it out so that it doesn't constantly churn in my head all the time. Once I write it here, I don't have to think about it. So, I've got some pictures to share today. This is what has been bugging me this week and it's time to get it out. Not necessarily to hurt someone else, but so that I can heal. Because, like I found out last week, I is kind, I is smart, I is important.
Here it goes.........
So. As you can see by this first picture, this was sent to me in June 2016. It was a nice Sunday afternoon and I was minding my own business when I got this quick series of pictures of a messenger conversation. I didn't recognize the number it came from but I'm sure it was one of those texting apps and I quickly blocked it. So I don't know if this was the entire conversation or everything the sender meant for me to see. But this was what I got.
First of all, a messenger introduction. It happened on June 4, 2016 beginning at 1:13PM. They have a mutual friend, yada, yada, yada.
Now wait just a minute here. 14 months prior to this I had come home for lunch a found a note attached to a business card in my mailbox. The business card was complete with this sender's work info and cell number. The note attached addressed me as Mrs. Parks and instructed me to call her about him. I did not. I called her supervisor who asked me to email a picture of it and I did. The supervisor called me later to assure me she had spoken to this woman and nothing like this would happen again. So, the sender of this message KNEW he was in a relationship call MARRIAGE. Why on earth would she message another 'other woman' to find out if they were still together and if he was taken when she knew he was taken by MARRIAGE?
Also in this picture, she mentioned that her brother-in-law introduced them. Isn't that interesting considering her sister had been following me on instagram for quite some time and I couldn't figure out who she was or why she would be following me? I kept getting the creeps about it so, after a while, I blocked her. I only found out recently that it was her sister. And, that I've been taking walks by her sister's house for years and didn't even know that I was talking to her sister's dogs who would bark at me as I walked by. (Won't do that again!)
Now the questions continue. 'Is he divorcing his wife' to which the response is 'he's been divorcing her for the past 7 years'. Boy. Neither one had a clue on that one. I had filed in 2010 on grounds of adultery because of the relationship with the receiver in this conversation. But he told me that was over and he told me we were back together at the end of 2011 and he told me to drop it. So no. He had not been divorcing me for 7 years. He had filed just over 3 months prior to this conversation and had told me it was because his mother was dead and he no longer needed me to take care of her.
For some reason the receiver of the messages chose, at that time, to post a picture of her driver's license and a check book. Who knows.
Next picture. My blog. Nice to know they keep up with me so well. Not. And the receiver asks the sender just what he told her. The sender replied 'Not a lot really. I just met him.'
Ok. Hold up. And back up to April 2015 when the note and business card were left in my mailbox. Not only did she know him then, but he confessed, while seated at my desk at work, that he knew the name when I said it to him. So that's not true. And her sister had been following me on instagram prior to that too. So........
This last one is about the duplex. The sender confesses that she has been there. The receiver says he had to get the duplex so he could get the divorce and that it wasn't far from my house. Then the sender (who claimed to not know he was married) says she knows this. And that he gave her a key.
I asked him about this key thing and I was told it wasn't true. Hmm..... And I was at this duplex about a month later and saw a lot of stuff in boxes. Like someone was moving in. He claimed he must have gotten them by accident and they weren't his. But he wouldn't say who they belonged to. And I know I'm not the only woman who was at that duplex after these messages were sent. So it had to be a bit scary or dangerous with her having that key and being able to walk in at any moment. Maybe he liked the thought. But now that I know the truth it makes me sick.
Now. Getting back to the pictures. What is wrong with this picture? Or these pictures? I have to say that it is really freeing to get this out. Truth is freeing for those who live in it. But for those who lie, deceive, manipulate and intentionally hurt others just so they can get what they want, well, they aren't friends with truth. Until they can come face to face with truth, shake hands with truth, embrace truth, they will never be free. And, while that is sad, it's not my place to free them. It never was even though I tried. I can pray for them. I can hope they get the help they need. But I'm not their savior. There is only One Savior. And I do pray they find Him. Soon.
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