Do We Laugh or Cry?

     It's what we do with it.  It's what we make of it.  Sometimes that's hard to remember.  Especially when it affects our kids.  But it's true even then.
     This past week or so I've watched a couple of my kids deal with issues that are no fault of their own.  As their mom, I want to shield them.  Protect them.  But sometimes I can't do that. That's not always the plan.  Not necessarily God's plan.  It's then that I must pray, trust that I've raised them right, and let them figure it out on their own.
     So what's gone on recently that has brought up all this kind of thinking?  A credit score.  My daughter messaged me, asking why her credit score had dropped by 65 points.  Then we realized it was because she is on my credit card that is almost to the limit......  He cut the college kids off financially when they didn't agree with his lifestyle.  So I began paying all, not just some, of the expenses he had agreed to pay.
     Funny.  He gave at least one of the women he committed adultery with a credit card.  How do I know it was her and not him making the charges?  Well it was used locally while he and I were in Jamaica.  Quite a bit.  Got cash with it.  Bought gas with it in places he couldn't have been over a long period of time.  And went Black Friday shopping in stores where he wouldn't darken the door.  But he cut off his own children for not supporting his lifestyle.  Decided to not be a father.  Chose to break promises.
     Then there's this car.  This pathetic old car that has been a mess since day one.  He promised the kids that he would make sure they had a car to drive in High School and it would be their car when they graduated college.  Funny.  He stole his mother's money to buy this car in the first place.  Then we used the car as collateral to get a loan for money he needed.  Guess who paid back the loan?  Wrong.  Not him.  It was me.  (For that car anyway.  The other car that was used as collateral was totaled so insurance paid it off.)
     So this promise he made was financed by his mother, who was in a nursing home, and by me.  Now he did pay for repairs.  Sometimes.  That car has had to have more repairs than any car I've ever dealt with.  In fact, between it and a rental car to get my son home at Christmas, it was about $1,000.  (No he didn't see his dad at Christmas.  But dad didn't even try to contact 3 of the kids to tell them Merry Christmas, let alone give them any gifts.)  I recently came across a screenshot of a group text my son who drove the car sent.  He had been having constant car issues and he simply asked that, if he snuck out of the county with a prostitute, would we at least get his car looked at while he was gone.  Just a little jab at the one who had made but not kept promises but has snuck out of the country at least twice with other women while married to me.
     So, after trying to get rid of that car for years, finally, on March 15th, we got him to sign the car title so that it would belong to my son.  But before we could accomplish that, the car gave up.  Just 15 days later.  Now we could have cried.  But we chose to laugh.  It was stressful.  But it has turned out wonderfully.  Because the car my son picked out a few years ago, or one almost identical to it anyway, had just been traded in at the dealership where my brother works.  Just 5 days later my son was the proud owner of that car!  Making payments he wasn't supposed to make according to his dad's promises.  But we will look at the good that is coming from this.
     Broken promises.  Lies.  Lots of things have tried to get us down this week.  But it's our focus that makes the difference.  We are moving forward.  Like my daughter often tells me, even after her credit score dropping because we are living on that credit card together right now, "you're okay.  I gotcha lady".  And we are okay.  We are better than okay.  Yes, I'm gonna say it.  We are blessed!
     I'm doing all I can to move forward.  It's our choice.  Stay where we are, go backwards, or move forward.  I've even taken down my first photo I ever enlarged to poster size and framed. I replaced it with a new one.  What does that have to do with anything?  I was so proud of that picture.  Had a special frame made for it even.  But he was giving me a ride the day I picked up the picture.  I heard his hidden phone vibrating in the backseat and calmly mentioned it.  It made him mad.  He was caught and he always made things my fault.  So he stopped the truck, grabbed my picture and tried to push me and my belongings out.  The picture, because it was wrinkled, always reminded me of that.  But no more.  I've moved forward and I love the replacement.
     What's holding you back?  Which direction are you going?  We get sidetracked every now and then.  But we are moving forward.  Not in how we planned.  But God is in our lives.  He is using all we go through.  If we let Him.  And like I just keep being reminded, He causes ALL things to work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose.  Even this stuff.  And I'm believing that.  I gotta get it out sometimes so I can breathe.  But I'm still believing it.  How about you?