Lonely

     I'm lonely.  It hit just before the last of the kids left this evening.  I knew I was about to be alone so that empty, sad feeling just started creeping up inside until it reached my throat and choked out the tears. 
     We had a fun weekend.  Most of the kids were here.  In fact we had a table full for brunch this morning.  Church was good.  Then we had fun at lunch together too.  Together.  Until I was lonely.  Really lonely.
     I was kinda feeling sorry for myself.  Then I talked to God a bit.  And He reminded me of something.  There was a time when Jesus was lonely.  There were probably other times than this time, but, since today is Easter, the time that I was reminded of today was very important. 
     Jesus had been accused of things He didn't do.  (Been there, done that.)  He was abused.  (Been there, done that.)  Almost everyone in town was against Him.  (Been there, done that because of the local fire department and the lies told about me by one of them and believed by others.)  Then He was crucified, hung on a cross.  God turned His back on Him.  (Haven't been there.  That has never happened to me.) 
    Jesus was utterly alone on that cross.  He was completely alone.  God turned His back on Jesus.  He had to.  For me.  For you.  It was the only way our sins could be forgiven.
     Lonely.  Yeah.  I'm lonely.  But I know there is no way my lonely could ever compare to the lonely Jesus felt that day.  With my sins piled on Him and His Father turning His back to Him, well you know what a broken heart feels like?  Jesus's heart really broke.  Completely.  Broke.  Worse than something you or I could ever experience.
     Jesus could have changed it.  He was God.  He could have said He wanted to come down off the cross and it would have happened.  But He chose to be alone on that cross.  Because He loves me so much.  Because He loves you so much.
     Being lonely hurts.  It hurts inside, in a place that can't be touched.  It hurts from head to toe.  And, even though it hurts, we are never alone like Jesus was that day.  God doesn't leave us.  He doesn't turn His back on His children.  He never moves away from us. 
     Am I still lonely.  A little bit.  But I know my Savior is with me.  This 'feeling' will pass.  And my Lord will never leave me.  He loves us so much, it's almost unbelievable. 
     So I'm wondering.  Do you know Him?  Would you like to?