Anonymous

     If this second blog post in one week is too much, please forgive me.  But this has been building up inside me for such a long time.  I'm ready to have this behind my family and me so I guess it will keep coming out for a while.  And this post is simply about a word.
     Anonymous.  Anonymously.  Anon.  Ever since this whole life of dealing with infidelity started, there has been someone, or sometwo or somethree (you get the picture) contacting me anonymously.  Now they may not always use the word anonymous.  They may masquerade as someone else on social media.  Or they might call me at work and tell me what they've done with him but not give me their name.  They might call me as the friend of someone he has been with and tell me what they think I don't already know.  But, however they do it, it usually comes out and I find out who anonymous is.
     Like the time I got a phone call when I was home for lunch.  He had answered the home phone just before I got there and told me someone had called for me but he didn't know who it was.  She called back right after I got home and told me about his relationship with her friend.  He denied it, of course.  So I hoped it was someone just causing trouble.  Then, a year or so later, I was selling Avon.  I went to an area wide meeting and ended up sitting by the younger sister of a girl I had gone to school with in another town many years earlier.  What are the odds?  When we had a 'get to know your neighbor' time, we started telling each other about our lives.  When I told her I was married and what he did for a living, it all came out.  SHE was the one who had called me that day!  Again. What are the odds......
     Most of the time when  Ms. Anonymous (and I say Ms. because I've yet to have a Mr. Anonymous contact me.  Misters just don't usually do that for whatever reason.) contacts me over these last 20 plus years, she  has done so to report something he has done.  In fact, almost EVERY time a Ms. Anonymous has contacted me, it has been related to him and his choices.
     It always amazes me how quickly my blog posts have been read and commented on by Ms. Anonymous.   I have deleted many of the comments.  They just aren't relevant and have no place in blogs about faith.  In fact, I just can't figure out why anyone would want to post a comment, telling everyone who is reading a blog about the Lord, how they had just committed adultery with the spouse of the author. And they were proud of it. Amazes me.
     Over the years, the word 'anonymous' had actually become a trigger for me.  It would pop up on the caller ID at work and I would freeze.  I couldn't move on the outside but my heart was pounding in my chest.  It has been this way for years and years.  And I hated it.  But then I wrote "It's Time"  right here on this blog several weeks ago.  And people started commenting anonymously.  Something was different though.  They were nice!  (Except for one poor soul who thought they knew the facts but didn't.)  Then people started posting as 'Anonymous' on older blog posts.  Such sweet, loving people!  Suddenly, the word anonymous starting making me smile!  No longer a trigger for anxiety.
     So.  Anonymous.  I no longer fear you.  I am thankful for those who have reached out to me with words of encouragement and even asking for forgiveness using you as their name.  You have protected them while they have uplifted me.  And you know what Anonymous?  God knows who you are.  Good or bad.  And He will reward you accordingly.