The Best Christmas Ever!

     The Best Christmas Ever.....a statement I never understood until this very Christmas.  For so many years, we’ve dealt with uncertainty. With confusion and down right pain.  Wondering if he would even show up. Going back 20 years, there have been times he didn’t.  Or, if he did, there was an attitude that affected us all. Can you imagine little kids waiting and him not showing up or even contacting them?  And if he did show up,  would he stay?  Excuses. Somewhere to be that we couldn’t know about. It was like we were all walking, barefoot, on broken glass Christmas ornaments and trying to not get hurt or make a bigger mess.   Somehow it left us all empty and not feeling Christmassy like we wanted to feel.
     The news always talked about kids who didn’t have anything for Christmas. . While we felt badly for them, it was hard. Others didn’t know about our lack at Christmas. We had food. We had gifts. But we hurt. We hurt so badly.
     From the outside, we’ve always given the appearance of a normal family.  That we were happy. Whole.  But we knew it wasn’t true.  And the few times it was true, it didn’t last long.  In fact, I’ve heard over and over how this is not a family, from the very people this family was made up of.
     That cut so deeply. Hearing my own kids say ‘this isn’t a family’ hurt every time I heard it. And, as their mom, I hurt for them having those feelings. Why couldn’t I make things better?  I was doing all I could to keep our family together.   Unfortunately, holding on to him being who he should be, who he appeared to be but wasn’t, was exactly what was tearing us apart and hurting us the worst.
     But this year was different.  No toxic attitudes. No toxic person. It was like we all had a new beginning. A wonderful, special, new beginning that we were trying out. Like when a new baby comes into the family and everyone is excited. Or when someone gets a new car and everybody who sits inside it takes a deep breath, breathing in that new car smell.
      Was our Christmas perfect?  Of course not. We dealt with a vehicle deciding not to work and a last minute, more than expensive, rental car. But it was well worth it!  We were together as a family.  We had Christmas dinner at midnight on Christmas night. Together. All of us.
     Our God makes all things new. And that’s what He has been doing for our family. Healing. Restoring. Renewing. Just how do I know?  Well there are many signs. Like the relaxed time we had together. All the kids and me. My family. Whether we were cooking  together. Eating together. Laughing and playing games.  We were being a family.
    But probably the biggest thing that I saw was this.

This little square usually sits on the ledge above my kitchen sink. Every family gathering one of the kids lays it down where it can’t be seen.  Someone will say how we aren’t a family. But not this time . I realized, after Christmas, that it was still sitting there.  It still proclaimed ‘It’s all about family’. And that makes me smile.